Why Be An Option?

Prescription: Reality Check ✔️

        Dosage: Readers are required to love who they are because HE chooses us 🙌🏽

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Who knew that dating in 2017 would be this hard! I mean, we as Christian women are taught how to have morals and value ourselves, and know your worth, but these guys…are taught what exactly? As a 24-year-old I may not have it all together, but I do think I’m on the right track. So why is it hard to find someone on the same page as me? In the church, I admire the pastors and first ladies, and how their love stories blossomed over time, but today seems so much different than back then. It’s almost like a woman that knows her worth is the last thing a man wants to be with. WHY IS THAT?


So, I have been single for a year now and I chose to take my time and wait until I was totally over my ex before dating again. I just wanted to heal and be free from everything that held me down in our relationship. When I tell you, God heals…He will keep you in perfect peace. I never thought I would get over him, BUT GOD. OK I’m back now y’all, sometimes you just got to think about that thing and just…OK, OK I’m getting off track, anyways, during this year of me being single I met new guys and rekindled some old friendships. I was not in a rush to be in a relationship, but I did want something new. Funny how I made that up in my mind and didn’t consult God first. Well as always, He has His ways of showing you His love before you go down the wrong path. In church I received a word, telling me not to focus on a relationship, but stay focused on Him. At the time I was like well of course God, you know I don’t want a man right now. I said that and along came the test!

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You know how you may have that one guy that is EVERYTHING you want, but the timing is off. That was me, I met someone who had what I was looking for, but I was in a relationship. Over the years we kept in touch on and off, we were never consistently there. So, when he popped back up recently I didn’t think anything of it. Well he had hit a rough patch and needed a friend, TA-DA that’s me! I was looking for a friend too and being that we have history it just seemed right. He said ALL the right things, and made me feel special. Now I’m no fool, I know how guys say things because they think they are so smooth right, nope not over here buddy. 

I needed to see actions. I’m tired of empty words and empty promises. If you mean it, then show it. Well he was aware of my ‘show– no- tell’ request as well as knowing that I had made the decision to be celibate. He didn’t budge, he was up for the task. One of the traits I admire about myself is how understanding I am. I know that we live in a sexual world. Sex is everywhere, from the music we listen to, to the shows we watch, sex is hard to avoid. How do you maintain a celibate relationship when sex is all around you? It’s doable, but it’s hard. Knowing all of this ahead of time I told him let’s just be friends and see where it grows from there. He did not totally agree with the idea of just a friendship,  but he was willing to wait. That’s a good sign, right?

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Well the problem occurs when the rough patch ends and now it’s time for him to ‘show-no-tell’. He shows me something all right, he shows me his words are just what they are words. Decorations on a piece of paper, noise coming out of his mouth. Frustrating, because here I am ready for something new and real and he can’t seem to get it right. I’m not here to bash him, because he really is a great guy, but I can’t lie I’m disappointed. Guys say they want to wife a woman up that has substance, but when they are presented with that woman they run. It’s like in that moment they realize “Oh snap she’s the real thing, let me not be the guy that breaks her heart”so don’t.

Why do guys immediately think they will hurt the woman that they need, and rush into something they want? Guys don’t realize that you may think you are doing her heart justice, but, she’s questioning her morals, values, and her worth. Why didn’t he choose ME?

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Ladies, if you can relate, let me be the first to tell you, “You are NOT the problem!” If you are the type of woman who knows her worth then you should never accept being someone’s option.


You know why? Because He will always choose you! God loved me enough to warn me, and because of His love for me I can look at the situation and know that there is nothing wrong with me. Even though I wasn’t his choice I know I’m God’s choice.

Stay Encouraged Daily Readers!

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